The Porch Pundits

2.6.14
"Ded" is:
Miss Purple Velvet Peep-toe Heels is
coming right on "tine."


Again?
Yes, again. She ain't learn yet.
Wearin' less of a dress, I bet,
and strutin', not "twissin.'" You better
believe it.


Like she own sum'um?
Like she own everything, and maybe she
do. You done seen 'em?


Who?
Them men who faces get more colder
than freezer burn chicken when they
see 'er.


Aww! I didn't know it was that deep.
You don't think they got that gold
on the finger?
What do you think?


Oooo! That girl must know what she
must doing 'cause tacks are all over
the flo' o' that territory. She might
know how to be careful. Things like
that have a way gettin' out o' hand.
I don't know.
No, you don't, and me either. I did say
"maybe" to that.


What ju' know?
One o' them party favors got tha' gold,
and it’s old Kay-Kay's gold.


Stop yo' lyin' right now.
I would if I did.


You need to hush up about this. Not
Kay-Kay.
Uh-huh.


Didn't she hear 'bout the last three
sum'ums that had 'im?
(A sarcastic glare)


Don't look at me like that. May she
didn't.
Who around here 'sides the dead and
gone and folks who never even scooted
by this town haven't heard 'bout it?


That girl is crazier than water on
the brain. Nobody in court could
pin that he didn't off them up and
gone gals...even though he was the
last one to see 'em all.
Naw, now, he did have all them
"ali-bisexuals"to back 'im up.


(Strong laughter) Oooo, Lord!
That's alibis, now, and I thought
I was far gone.
Don't start wit' me. Hell, you what
I mean. 'Sides, I think the wife did
away wit' 'em, and that fact that
nobody even looked in her direction
when it all went down is sick in
the head to me. They all need a
check for being stupid on one
side o' they heads.


I didn't even think 'bout that. They
always fightin' 'bout his women. If
I was her, he would have been let
go and out the do' a long time ago.
That's it. And - I don't know if you
knew - she "whatn't" lookin' too
good health-wise either, when I saw
'er at Decker's Groceries last week
either.


You don't think she on that stuff,
poppin' caplets, or sum'um 'cause
o' him, do you?
Me? I think you need to try 'gin.


Ah'm gonna throw a rock at you.
He done gave her some nasty
sickness. That's what you tellin'
me?
Gotta be. She ain't da' one to take
a chance on gettin' on the mess.
She think she too high-class for
that. All about appearances, you
know?


Ms. Lemon, on Capshaw, told me
somethin' 'bout it, but I didn't
pay attention to 'er too much.
You know? We was at the farmer's
market, and you know she loves
gossip and lie, and she call herself
a lover of lord and life.
I know. Anyway, he would be the
one needin' a pine box if he gave me
something that's been passed on
from some flith for anybody.


Right there wit' you.
Either way, don't be surprise, with
all that foolin' around, if you hear
'bout Ms. Purple, on down the line,
is found face down is da' same color
she wearing tonight around town.

© 2014 Jarrod C. Lacy